College football is the greatest sport in the world. It is also extremely dumb and aggravating. In some ways it is the greatest sport in the world because it is extremely dumb and aggravating, but that doesn’t mean the last two weeks were any less headache inducing. Yes, Notre Dame is 4-0, hasn’t trailed, and is outscoring its opponents by nearly five touchdowns a game, but I’m not gonna let those facts get in the way of my feelings. The vibes were just off, man. 

I want to start by acknowledging that to be in a position to grumble about back-to-back 20+ wins is unabashedly a good thing, that this is pretty much the definition of a champagne problem, and it’s a sign of just how healthy Notre Dame is as a football program that I can gripe about not running Central Michigan completely out of the state. But it’s my god-given right as a football fan to complain without any good reason to, so dangit I’m gonna exercise it. 

Let’s start with Notre Dame’s trip to Raleigh, a jaunt that’s apparently hexed to have awful weather accompany it, but at least we didn’t have to play through a hurricane this time because this time there was lightning. It only meant that we tacked on nearly a full two extra hours to what was already kind of a sloppy game, as both offenses stagnated early and the only score came off (apparently?) the longest field goal in school history courtesy of Spencer Shrader. Idling around for two hours is annoying enough, but the ABC broadcast’s refusal to do anything interesting with the time made it interminable (but hey at least we got to watch Boston College struggle with Holy Cross). The good thing to come out of the delay was that Audric Estime, evidently hot dog-fueled and restless, broke an 80-yard run on the first play back, but that hardly opened the floodgates as ND subsequently handed NC State nearly half a field’s worth of penalties to bring the score close. The Irish did keep the Wolfpack at about arm’s length the rest of the afternoon before pulling away in the fourth quarter, highlighted by back-to-back interceptions deep in Wolfpack territory. The offense capitalized with touchdowns (isn’t it nice to have a super experienced quarterback with a good o-line, a running back room that’s deeper than a coal mine, and wide receivers that don’t look now might be rounding into form?) and that was pretty much that. Unfortunately it took longer to get to the end than Return of the King and often didn’t look as nice, so it left me kinda grumpy. 

And then there was Saturday’s outing against Central Michigan, a thoroughly bland affair where the Irish didn’t exactly look at their best but also weren’t playing at their worst. While this was a classic look ahead game and everyone knew it, it did feel like ND was going to push all those concerns after a nonchalant Chippewa three-and-out followed by a beautiful long touchdown pass to Tobias Merriweather passed the first five minutes. Maybe that’s the real reason for the often frustrating remaining fifty-five — it looked like ND was just going to steamroll Central Michigan, put aside all the doubts about looking ahead, and go into a huge game riding a crest of momentum, but that didn’t really happen, so we all left feeling disappointed despite never really being in danger of losing or the game being all that competitive. There were yet again a number of extremely annoying penalties, the game was yet again a one-score affair far later than it probably should have been, and it was yet again not even remotely in jeopardy by the middle of the fourth quarter. The result was a football game that was remarkable only in how unremarkable it was, which amounts to a somewhat disappointing fall Saturday. 

So surely we can get headache-cleansing help from the rest of the country right? NOPE. While it is nice to see some recent goliaths looking not-so-goliath-y, with Clemson faceplanting against Duke on opening weekend and Alabama appearing not to have a good quarterback or offensive line for a change, the power vacuum those teams are leaving behind is being filled by the world’s most aggravating fanbases. 

Are there any fanbases who engage in puffery with more relish than Florida State and Texas? Florida State about ran LSU out of Orlando on opening weekend, so naturally the Seminoles now have to be considered a frontrunner for the national title, because as we all know only national title contenders are capable of blowing out Brian Kelly. (Though, mercifully, Florida State struggled with Boston College and maybe the Tallahasee Talking will calm down for a couple weeks? Oh they play an apparently not-great Clemson team next week? And if they win the ACC title will basically be theirs to lose? Whelp.) Texas, meanwhile, handed Alabama the worse home loss of Nick Saban’s tenure, which means Texas must no for real this time seriously we promise be “back.” Notably, Texas and Florida State have combined for as many national titles in their entire histories as Nick Saban’s won this century, but they were good when sportswriters were in college, so they must have always been good right? 

And that’s not even getting into that team from up north, which committed enough critical errors in the first half over the weekend to let Bowling Green hang around despite the Falcons repeatedly declining to do so. Skunkbear fans and a fair chunk of the national media have talked themselves into this team being a national title contender despite the fact their last postseason outing resulted in a transitive 60-point loss and they’ve yet to win a major bowl game under Jim Harbaugh. Can you imagine the blowback Notre Dame would get if they got this kind of hype?

As always, though, a massive shoutout is due to the rest of college football for reminding us grumpy Notre Dame fans that things could always be worse (hi Tennesee). Alabama struggled mightily with South Florida in a weather-delayed game, the kind of experience that I’m sure Tommy Rees would care to never have ever again. Georgia was losing by double digits at halftime at home to South Carolina. Texas had a legendary hangover game after beating Bama and was tied with Wyoming until the fourth. Pitt is Pitt. And in the “lol” category, Oklahoma State got trounced at home by South Alabama (USA! USA!). So yeah, I’ll take my back-to-back twenty point wins, even if they make me kinda nauseous. 

Fall Saturdays are for beautiful weather, fantastic atmospheres, and heroic plays. They are also for chaos, spite, and never-ending ennui. That’s why we love this big dumb aggravating beautiful game. 

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So now we turn to the Buckeyes. It’s why we’re all here, isn’t it?

I’d really, really like to beat this team. Notre Dame has not beaten Ohio State in a long, long, long time — like Roosevelt administration long. There hasn’t been many clashes since, so at least it isn’t a protracted parade of misery, but it would be nice to finally notch a win over the Buckeyes. Each team has one win in the other’s stadium, and we should try to keep it that way. 

Yet despite all that, I’m feeling weirdly calm about this game. Can Notre Dame beat Ohio State? Of course! Are they going to? Who knows! Despite being a quarter to a third of the way through each team’s season, I still wouldn’t say we really know all that much about either squad given the level of competition each has faced. Both teams have faced a Power 5 team on the road and one each of an FCS foe and a Group of 5 opponent at home, with ND tacking on the Navy exhibition in Ireland as a bonus. Predictably, neither team has been much challenged so far, though OSU fans probably share some of my headache sentiments about their first two games. If you wanna argue whether beating Tennessee State 56-3 or Western Kentucky 63-10 is more impressive, have at it, I guess. We’ll have all the information we need Saturday night. 

I did feel a lot better about this game before turning in a — whelming? — performance against CMU while the Buckeyes pasted the Hilltoppers, but it’s one of the most delightfully aggravating features of college football that team performances often vary wildly week-to-week. This feels like the most complete team Notre Dame has had in quite some time, with the 2018 playoff team maybe being the only other even comparable in recent memory. Notre Dame has the edge in the quarterback experience department for a change, which will be absolutely critical in a game like this, where emotions will run high and steady leadership will be needed. The Irish can probably at least hold serve on most skill position matchups (Ben Morrison vs. Marvin Harrison, Jr. is gonna be just excellent), and while I don’t know enough about the finer points of line play to offer an informed take, the Irish absolutely have the talent along the o-line to compete. What I do know is that if Stetson Bennett and JJ McCarthy can carve up the Buckeyes’ defense, I’d bet that Sam Hartman can (helps when Audric Estime can maul some dudes also). This was a close game last year in Columbus, and while so much has changed for both teams since then that feels like a lifetime ago (Tyler Buchner to Lorenzo Styles was the first play!), the Irish have unquestionably gotten much better since then. Have the Buckeyes?

The weird thing is though… is this even the biggest game this year in South Bend? Yes, the Buckeyes have had a lot more recent success than our October guests, but while I find Ohio State generally distasteful, there’s not exactly the same rivalry spice as we’ll get with the Trojans. I guess though there’s a world in which ND loses Saturday, drops a road game in Durham or Louisville, and suddenly the Southern Cal game loses a lot of luster. If you made me pick which of Notre Dame’s “Big Three” games this season I’d like to win, this would probably be at the bottom of the list — but I’d still really like to win it. You don’t get a lot of top ten matchups at home against the sports’ blue bloods (though with a newly functional USC, that may be changing). Much like back-to-back twenty-point margins, you can’t take this for granted. 

This in an awesome opportunity for Marcus Freeman’s team to make a huge, program-changing kind of statement. For years the largely unfair knock on Notre Dame has been a difficulty winning big games (you tell me who was beating Alabama in 2020). The last two Clemson games in South Bend have started to chip away at that narrative, but this is an opportunity to blow it wide open. This Notre Dame team feels different, and they have a chance to prove it. Marcus Freeman was hired to win these kind of games, and with the most experience under center he may ever have, a punishing running game, a ball-hawking secondary, a home crowd, green jerseys, and not all that much to lose. 

So let’s get us a little non-aggravation and win the dang thing.

– EC